The Collaring Ceremony
What is a Collaring Ceremony?
A collaring ceremony is comparable to a wedding vow exchange. They can be private, such as an elopement, or public within a bdsm group or just a group of your friends. The idea behind a collaring ceremony is a “claiming” ritual and a coming together; a union of souls, united fully in love and commitment. Much like a wedding vow exchange, (but with a kinky and fetish twist!) the collaring ceremony is performed with a special collar instead of a wedding ring.
How Your Perfect Collar for your Collar Ceremony
The collar is to be a special collar of special significance chosen by the Master to present to his slave upon that day. The collar usually is more elaborate but it doesn’t need to be. The collar should be whatever you feel most comfortable with and has significance to you both. Collaring ceremony collars can be made out leather, stainless steel, or leather. It’s really about whatever feels right to you both.
Think of it as being similar to picking out your wedding rings. You want collaring ceremony to be special and your collar will reflect that no matter who you choose.
Generally, however the collars are either stricter, such as with the case of a posture collar, or a more elaborate collar style such as stainless steel or leather with ornamentation with D-rings. One of the more popular collar styles is white leather, which keeps in style with the wedding theme. Whatever the collar is, it needs only to be special to both of you.
What to Wear to Your Collaring Ceremony
The submissive can be dressed in whatever style of clothing the Master desires. Most often the slave is either nude or in special clothing for the event that carry fetish styled overtones such as latex or vinyl. The dress style is generally conveyed to the slave by the Master before the ceremony, to make sure that the undertone of the ceremony is understood.
But really it’s not about what you are wearing on your body it’s about what you wear on in your heart.
Think of it as Collaring Ceremony Pre-Nup
Before any ceremony takes place there should be an understanding of roles and what is perceived as the power exchange between the two parties. Just as you would have your roles defined before a marriage, the roles should be defined before a collaring ceremony. How comfortable is the submissive with the dominant being dominant? How comfortable does the dominant feel being dominant. Generally is there is a good understanding of this, but it is best to have a conversation and make sure that all roles are clearly defined.
Setting the Mood for a Collaring Ceremony
Candles are the perfect mood enhancer for a collaring ceremony. Not only are they traditionally used in many wedding ceremony, there is the added benefit of aromatherapy and remembrance. Did you know that the sense of smell is the most powerful tool for memories? Make sure the that the scent you use for your candles holds special significance for you. Because of the white color and the traditional feel of white, vanilla candles are a great mood enhancers. (Is it wrong that my mind just went immediately to wax play… And the best part is that for the rest of your life, when you smell that special scent of vanilla you will think of your special day and the joy and love shared on your collaring ceremony!
Another great mood setter is music. Today, with i-pods and cd’s, making a special mix of music for your big day can really add a lot to your bondage collaring ceremony. Slow songs with sweet lyrics of love or domination would be a great mood setter for your collaring ceremony. While it is one of my favorites, I would not recommend Depeche Mode’s Master and Servant, but it certainly fits the bill. *wink* Whatever song holds meaning for you both, with or without a bondage theme, is the one that you should put on your collaring ceremony mix. And to keep the mood going, you can put your bondage collaring mix on a cd and present it to your lover at your collaring ceremony. Or sometime after, because you might be a bit ‘tied-up’ for a while… (Oooo-la-LA! *tee-hee*)
Have fun and make it special for the two of you, whether you make it public with friends or at a club, keep it private in your home or make a big ceremony of it or just a small token of your commitment to each other. Whatever you do will be perfect, because it fits you both perfectly!